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Jim Carrey has been noticing a troubling, recurring motif emerging throughout his career lately, wherein studio executives have realized that paying the actor tens of millions of dollars to terrorize a movie set and ultimately deliver a box office stinker was perhaps not the most cost efficient strategy. They then decide to "put a pin" in the projects, as the Hollywood parlance goes, much as you would do to a balloon. Carrey is still getting work, just not the kind of $150 million-in-chewable-CGI-scenery roles to which the actor is accustomed. He has now taken the only logical recourse: firing the agency that built him from an unknown Canadian comic into the megastar he is.

Carrey signed with the United Talent Agency when he was a starving comic from Canada. The firm got him his first big break in 1994's "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "The Mask," which quickly propelled him to the elite $20 million-per-picture range. [...]

"Mr. Carrey has shared an enormous amount of success with UTA over the years for which he is truly grateful," Carrey's publicist, Marleah Leslie, said. "It was a difficult decision to make, but he felt it was time to move on." [...]

"With the possible exception of today, Jim Carrey is among the true geniuses of our generation," [a UTA spokesperson] said. "We wish him eternal sunshine."

UTA's classy farewell betrays just how deep a loss Carrey means to them, as our sources deep within the agency's walls have alerted us that every assistant has been sent an e-mail instructing them to show up shirtless in the main conference room at 9 a.m. for an hour-long, self-flagellation session. (Leather floggers provided.) Unstoppable agenting monolith CAA, meanwhile, is in the midst of mounting an impressive courting ritual for the newly unencumbered talent, rounding up a colorful array of plump, juicy newborns, for which their agents will unhinge their lower jaws and proceed to swallow whole as a demonstration of their bloodthirsty commitment to restoring Carrey's former, A-list glory.