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It's now two hours into Meredith Vieira's debut on the Today show, and we can muster but one feeling: nausea. Not because Vieira's bad — she actually blends seamlessly, as if she'd spent her life preparing for friendly on-air flirtation with Matt Lauer. And she's pretty, so we automatically like her.

No, the problem with Vieira is really more a problem with Today show production. As if that "It's a new day" jingle weren't already festering in your hippocampus, NBC is hell-bent on making sure everyone knows MEREDITH IS HERE and, no matter what, SHE IS TOTALLY AWESOME!

So naturally the show started with the announcer replaying Vieira's name, just so she could hear it again; then cue the film footage of Vieira's life story — and thank God it's a relatively slow news day, so they could air all 35 minutes of that one, complete with her 2nd grade teachers and old friends recalling memories of a teenage Vieira laying in the sun, drinking Tab. Then Brian Williams brings her flowers on-air; later her awkward kids wish her a taped good luck (they look genuinely annoyed by the interruption in their Vice City schedule); later, Lauer's introducing her to security guards, Vieira's squeaking and giggly, the fans love her, C&C Music Factory is blasting, and everyone's just having the time of their lives!

Honestly, it's all so sugary-bad, we don't know which clip to pull. Fingers crossed for a Katie who, motherfuckers? moment.