From today's Page Six, an alternate reality:

PRESIDENT Bush showed off his sense of humor this morning on "Today" in an interview with Matt Lauer. The segment, taped Friday, showed Bush entering the Oval Office holding a copy of People magazine opened to the page with a bare-chested Matt Lauer. The president jokes, "Can I have an autograph?" Lauer responds: "Oh, do not start with this. That's just not nice [pointing to the picture]. The amazing thing is they put my head on your body." Bush: "I don't spend that much time at the gym."

God, that sounds hilarious! Except that it never aired (or happened, even). Damn those Sunday deadlines.

Instead of the People bit, there's just lots of very weird, close talking in the most awkwardly staged interview since Lauer wore loafers without socks. As for what Bush remembers about 9/11? Smoke, haze and hugs. Really, Ground Zero reminded him of an awesome party.