Science Proves Celebrities Capable Of Lifelong, Monogamous Relationships With Themselves
Dr. Drew Pinsky—always available on his call-in radio show to lend a compassionate ear or some valuable advice regarding the pleasure-enhancing benefits of removing one's retainer before performing oral sex—has released the data of an ongoing study he's been overseeing at USC. Setting out to answer the ancient, chicken-and-egg riddle of whether fame creates the narcissist or vice versa, the hallowed halls of science have finally spoken: It seems that abnormally high levels of preexisting amour propre run throughout both aspiring and accomplished celebrities, with an off-the-charts spike occuring among the subgenus of Realitus famewhoreum, aka, reality TV "stars":
The study, whose subjects were all guests on Pinsky's sex-advice radio show — not a place for shrinking violets — found that reality TV stars were the most narcissistic of all celebrities. Female stars were also more likely than their male counterparts to exhibit narcissistic traits. [...]
Celebrity guests appearing on the program were randomly chosen to participate in the study. They anonymously took the Narcissistic Personality Inventory test, which rates self-love levels based on seven components: superiority, exhibitionism, entitlement, vanity, authority, exploitativeness and entitlement.
Pinsky's seven-point "Narcissistic Personality Inventory" test has quickly become the hottest document in Hollywood, with Kitson already planning its directly inspired "Seven Deadly Celebrity Sins" clothing line, consisting of seven, pastel baby-T's, each featuring one of the test's desirable personality categories rhinestone-bedazzled across its front.
