• Liberals congregate in Central Park to hear prose from David Hare's political play Stuff Happens. Liberals agree Bush is an idiot. Liberals exchange phone numbers in hopes of a future booty call and/or husband. Everyone goes home happy. [flavorpill]
• Sir Elton Hercules John serenades Manhattan power couples, and anyone else who can afford a $500 ticket, with heartfelt renditions of Candle in the Wind and Can You Feel the Love Tonight at a benefit for his personal AIDS Foundation. A magenta tuxedo is optional. Waterproof mascara is mandatory. [NYM]
• The Varsity Letters Reading Series features sports-based readings from dudes who play Fantasy Football. Tonight it's Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author and Styles trendmaster Warren St. John and BoSox bitch Seth Mnoookin. [Paper]