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In Tom Cruise's darkest hours, sometime between the agony of being disowned from the Paramount family by noble, couch-protecting Viacom patriarch Sumner Redstone and the ecstasy of having bumper cars filled with amusement park money driven to his doorstep by the Six Flags people, the Church of Scientology was there to cradle its favorite, momentarily cash-strapped son in its bosom—well, at least they would have been if no one else came through to take the job off their hands, according to The Scoop:

After the "Top Gun" star was dropped by Paramount, he was shopping around for financiers, and a source reports that top execs at the Church of Scientology said that the group would fund his films if no other backers stepped forward. The talks ended when a group led by Washington Redskins owner Daniel M. Snyder reached a two-year financing deal with Cruise.

A spokeswoman for Cruise's production company, Cruise-Wagner, labels the story "completely untrue" and a rep for the Church of Scientology didn't respond to The Scoop's requests for comment.

"They've got deep pockets," says the source. "Tom has been good to the church, and they want to be there for him, but ultimately, this would have been a business deal."

We're inclined to believe the Cruise/Wagner spokesperson in this instance, as the relationship between Cruise and the Church seems pretty clear: He travels the world to publicize the evils of mind-altering pharmaceuticals and the pregnant celebrities who push them, and in return they skim millions from his residual checks, supply him with round-the-clock fiancee-retention services, and grant him super powers like the ability to personally—personally—get people off of dangerous street drugs. We're pretty sure that providing Cruise with script development money is nowhere in his billion-year contract.