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We pass along the following snippet of conspiracy-minded tinfoil-hattery belched up from within Viacom's corporate bowels and into our inbox earlier today not because we believe there's any truth to it, but rather because we were more than a little amused at how its author connected the seemingly coincidental events of yesterday's announcement of Paramount's two-picture deal with longtime Tom Cruise tormentors Trey Parker and Matt Stone to cranky, brittle-fist-shaking Viacom potentate Sumner Redstone's somewhat more attention-grabbing announcement that Cruise is too unhinged to work within his multimedia empire. Enjoy:

Viacom Conspiracy Theory: Please note that the pissing contest between Sumner and Xenu began on the same day that Paramount announced a two picture deal for the South Park guys. How's this for a scenario: Tom gets wind of the deal and calls Brad Grey telling him to cancel the Important Pictures pact or he'll leave. Brad Grey kicks it up to Freston who kicks it up to Sumner who — knowing that negotiations are going poorly and not so fondly recalling being forced to pull the Trapped in the Closet episode or else Cruise wouldn't do press for MI3 — says, "Fine, goodbye. You and your alien race will bully me no more."

Given the perfect timing, this would be a great opportunity for Stone and Parker to follow up their temporarily defeat-conceding post-Trapped press release with a full-page ad in the trades trumpeting this ultimate victory over their freshly vanquished nemesis. Hopefully, they'll get around to it before Rob Schneider has a chance to appropriate the gag to offer the out-of-work Cruise a gig in his movie.