This image was lost some time after publication.

· The SoaP premiere: Sam does Stewart. The reviews are in. (Including our own.)
· Jimmy Woods and his opportunistic suckling call it quits. Or does the kid stay in the picture?
· Andy Dick, still licking, biting, and coking his way into America's hearts.
· Haley Joel Osment charged with DUI and pot possession. Our little boy is all grown up!
· Mel Gibson gets three years probation, sits at home in "out-patient" rehab, taunted by the siren call of a well-stocked liquor cabinet.
· What's more humiliating: Pop star relic forced to sweep, or the 100 guys who make a career out of photographing it?
· Did the Butterscotch Stallion mount Kate Hudson?
· Tom Cruise to the rescue. Again.
· Jamie Gold confuses "pathological liar" with "power agent." No biggie—happens all the time.
· We're still trying to figure out how a golf cart hits an SUV with fatal results, and not the other way around.
· Bruno Kirby's dead! Boo!
· The IRS is onto the gift bag racket.
· It doesn't look like there's going to be a MOW after all, but we still like our choice of Dylan Baker to play John Mark Karr.