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Friday
 · Keep the cussing going after a satisfying night of motherfucking snakes with Echo Park's Fuck Yeah Fest, curated by the Circle Jerks' Keith Morris, and kicking off its weekend of indie art and live music with an opening night performance by the Jerks themselves.
· Fridays Off the 405 opens up the Getty collection to you as you've never seen it before: drunk, after pounding back a few at a cash bar. With live sets from Matthew Dear, creator of "German-influenced post-post-post disco" and Detroit DJ Ryan Elliot.
· SoaP songwriting contest winners Captain Ahab play The Smell.
Saturday
 · Illustrator/artists Jeff McMillan and Ronald J. Llanos's exhibition, How to Wrestle Bears Without Dying, opens at the Ghetto Gloss gallery, though we make no promises you'll walk away with any safer sex tips for burly Gays.
· Sexopolis at the Henry Fonda promises a "XXX-rated" party with "6 Erotic Playstations," and we don't think they're referring to specially refitted Sony video game consoles. (Or maybe they are.) Don't forget to say hi to the Mayor of Sexopolis, legendary porn mensch Ron Jeremy.
· Saturday night music: The Clientele play the Knitting Factory, Canadian General Public-soundalikes Hot Hot Heat play USC's McCarthy Quad, and Throwing Muses toss a few at the Little Radio warehouse.
Sunday
 · A little pastrami-eating bird told us if you show up from 10 a.m. - noon today MONDAY* at Canter's of Fairfax, you'll not only get a free bowl of matzo ball soup, you'll witness the birthing of the World's Largest Matzo Ball™. (We don't even want to know how big the Matzo is whose ass that rolls out of!)
· Sunday night music: Nous Non Plus (translation: "us neither") play The Fold in Safari Sam's, classical pianist Christopher O'Riley plays the Ford Amphitheatre and Monster terrorizes Spaceland.
· Enjoy the talents of a pre-gynecomastia-afflicted John Travolta with a sing-along screening of Grease at the Egyptian, and rejoice to the strains of "You're The One That I Want," when Sandy finally pulls that stick out of her ass and sees the slutty, chainsmoking light.

*Our pastrami-eating bird has now been slaughtered according to kosher guidelines and is roasting in the oven with some nice potatoes. Turns out the matzo ball fest is Monday, not Sunday. It's part of a promotion for the DVD release of When Do We Eat?, with a special appearance by Jewish hip hop supergroup Chutzpah, no less! Sorry about the confusion.