Always dedicated to important, breaking news, this morning the Today show explored the dangers of drunk driving (for the record, MADD was founded in 1980). In order to show how risky it is to drive after chugging a handle of Five O'Clock, they filmed a "test subject" (i.e. lucky fucker) pounding drinks before getting behind the wheel. As he slurred his way down the road and ran over those little orange cones that are obviously representative of human lives, we're reminded that no matter how old tired this kind of story may be, drunks on television are evergreen.