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· Miracles often manifest themselves in highly ironic fashion, so don't be immediately suspicious about the authenticity of the bagel with Mel Gibson's face on it up for sale on eBay.
If you're one of the privileged half-dozen or so subscribers to Defamer Text Messages and wonder why your recent news alerts no longer feature the words "rubyredbag," "whiteswallow," or "manloaf," see Valleywag's post about the 83 Words You Can't Say On Verizon Wireless.
The Blind Item Guessing Game, Mini Edition: DJ AM and Nicole Richie, according to some self-starting readers.
· This headline was so good we had no ability nor desire to read the actual story: "Patrick Swayze sweeps in sprinkling armfuls of magic dust."
· Ever wonder what makes that distinctive balls-slapping-against-ass sound so common in porno movies? Besides actual balls slapping against an ass?