Let's just all agree that caption contests are supremely retarded, and they rightly inspire responses of supreme tardation. Really we just wanted to run this photo of superpublicist Stephen Huvane picking gum off Kirsten Dunst's shoe, and we also had the Spiegeltent tickets to give away, and lo, two birds met our mighty one stone and were thus killed. And now, it's time to check the victors. Second runner-up:

Just for the record, there is no romantic interest between this piece of gum and Kirsten Dunst.

The other captions after ye jump.

The first runner-up:

INSPECTED FOR QUALITY BY B PITT

Vampire pedophilia joke! Always golden. And at last, our winner:

Ah shit, there's something stuck to my gum.

Not sure whether it's supposed to be Huvane or Dunst saying that, but really, does it matter?