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· Any time distressing world events might possibly interfere with the entertainment industry's ability to make a buck, we must all pause, take a deep breath, and cry to the heavens, But what about the box office children?! Let the hand-wringing begin as Paramount worries about whether or not the recent scare over explosive-liquid-wielding terrorists blowing up airplanes will affect the opening weekend gross of their movie dramatically recreating that time terrorists actually blew up some airplanes. [Variety]
In an story that only a studio's publicity department could possibly care about, Paramount announces that M:i:III will be the first! movie! ever! in! history! to be simultaneously released in classic DVD, HD DVD, and Blu-ray flavors. We put aside our sarcastic enthusiasm to note with genuine interest the fact that the Blu-Ray version of the DVD will contain a groundbreaking feature allowing the viewer to replace Tom Cruise with any one of five less creepy actors at the touch of a button. [THR]
NBC ensures that it can meet all of syndicated TV's demand for pantsuits and Navratilova haircuts for the near future, renewing Ellen Degeneres' talk show for another three years. [Variety]
· Shitergy alert! ABC rebrands its sports coverage as ESPN on ABC, but stresses that the change will in no way make Chris Berman any less annoying. [THR]
Hollywood Out of Ideas, Fucking Amazing Iron Maiden Songs Edition: Universal closes in on a deal for Christopher Nolan to direct a big-screen version of the TV series The Prisoner. [Variety]