This image was lost some time after publication.

When famed broadcaster Alistair Cooke (of Masterpiece Theatre fame) died in 2004, his family wanted to respect his wishes and scatter his ashes in Central Park. Since disposing of human cremains on park property is frowned upon by authorities, the family smuggled his ashes into the park in a Starbucks cup (we're assuming venti) and did the deed. That would be creepy enough, were it not for further revelations that, pre-cremation, Cooke's leg bones had been sawed off for sale by an illicit body-part retail ring run by "ex-dentist" Michael Mastromarino. According to the Daily News, owners of the New York Mortuary Service — one of Mastromarino's sources for people pieces — are taking a prosecution deal to detail the dismemberment and sale of "hundreds" of corpses. Regarding Cooke, the NYDN notes with characteristic restraint that "his cancer-ravaged bones were sold for more than $7,000." That's nasty, but at least his parts weren't used to beef up someone's insufficient pecker.

Ghoul a body snitcher [NYDN]
The grisly tale of Alistair's ashes [Telegraph]