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In today's Variety, celebrity penpal Rob Schneider has finally followed up* his infamous open letter promising a post-lunch beating to LAT reporter Patrick Goldstein over some unflattering remarks about manwhore masterwork Deuce Bigalow with a full-page, self-promotional, jokey pledge never to work with embattled anti-Semite Mel Gibson. (Excerpt shown, larger, full version here.) As expected from a follow-up project conceived for the sake of commerce rather than art, the sequel lacks the unhinged inspiration of the original, and ends with a disappointing, obligatory third act resolution plugging Schneider's next project, Big Stan, rather than offering an appropriately escalated act of threatened violence against the disgraced star. We suppose we'll just have to wait for next year's vanity ad to see if Schneider will ever recover the open-letter-writing magic of last February, but we fear his best days working in the form are long behind him.

[*We're not counting Schneider's plea for tolerance to the NY Times as a proper follow-up. That was clearly just a little indie project to keep him busy between big-budget gigs.]