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· We think we know what Jeremy Piven wished for when he blew out the candle on his birthday cake this weekend: For Lindsay Lohan to put on a flesh-colored bikini and do her best recreation of a really creepy kiddie porn photo shoot.

· This Craiglist ad seeking a "palm leaf oscillator" for a "high powered industry executive" may be a joke, but we suspect a real position involving the manual temperature control of a spoiled studio type will be created by morning.

Where were all of Tom Hanks' A-list castmates while we was working the red carpet at the LA premiere of the Ant Bully? Do these people think they don't have to do boring promotional work for their high-paid voiceover gigs?

Forget all the other stuff Ron Livingston says about the benefits of being on Sex and the City—what he's really trying to tell you is being on the show still gets him crazy laid.