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Tired of being recognized merely as an opportunistic barnacle fused to his more famous wife's leg, Kevin Federline is busily putting the finishing touches on his debut album, "Playing With Fire," the project that coaxed him out of the background dancing shadows and is set to establish him as a major non-talent in his own right. Somehow, Federline has convinced the Fox network to let him close the Teen Choice 2006 awards with a performance of his debut single, "Lose Control." From USA Today:

Kevin Federline says viewers will be "shocked" and naysayers "surprised" at his first live performance in front of a national audience. [...]

The plan is for wife Spears, who is expecting their second child in September, to be his date to the show. "This is my first big event, and I need her support and I want her support. If she's feeling under the weather because of the baby, obviously she won't be able to be there."

Let's hope Spears is well enough to cheer her husband on, and not laid up by one of those hormone-induced hallucinations that causes her to insist the bodyguard she's ordered to give her horsie rides across the backyard is actually a Bengal tiger guiding her through the streets of Calcutta.