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Oprah Winfrey, the patron saint of Vaguely Expounded Self-Actualization Techniques, felt the need to clarify once and for all the nature of her extremely cozy relationship to Oprah's Best Friend&trade, Gayle King. The two have long been rumored to be lesbian lovers, with Winfrey's longtime beau Stedman standing in as nothing more than her gender-reversed beard. In the August issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, Oprah explains the vast chasm of difference between calling someone "girlfriend," and...uh...calling someone "girlfriend."

"I understand why people think we're gay," she says. "There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it — how can you be this close without it being sexual?" [...]

Says Winfrey: "Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it's been a very fun ride."

Of course, saying, "I am not sleeping with this particular person," and "I am not gay," are two separate things entirely; just because she may never have stepped into forbidden waters with King doesn't necessarily rule out all other instances of Winfrey's simmering lady lust. And while we hesitate to further salacious rumors, there's something about Oprah's tender touch with female friends in need—whether getting a recently dumped Jennifer Aniston tanked on champagne, or swooping in on Julia Roberts at the precise moment unkind theater critics rendered her vulnerable—that makes us wonder if all this concern isn't just a ploy to get sympathy sex from some hot, A-list actresses.