Lance Bass Is Here! He's Near Queers! Get Used To It!
Back in the late 1990s, when *NSYNC was at the height of its boy band powers, if you were to have told us that one of its members was gay, and it was Lance Bass, we would have patiently sat you down and explained how that was simply impossible. Nothing about Bass—not his frosty-tipped hair, his immaculately manicured brows, nor his fondness for crocodile skin couture—pointed "that" way. The rumors have followed him, however, and while some just seemed outlandish—that his space tourism attempt was just Phase One of a larger plan to develop the Moon into a full-service gay resort, for example—a consensus has developed over the years that Bass is indeed a Gay who's cautiously inching his way out of the closet. Most recently, he was spotted cavorting around Provincetown with former Amazing Race winner and Second Tier Gay Celebrity™ Reichen Lehmkuhl. ABCNews.com's Buck Wolf uses the opportunity to pontificate on the true nature of Gay: "Visiting a gay club doesn't confirm that you are gay," he writes, netting high points for journalistic integrity. (And he's right: Maybe a hetero Lance has landed a role in the fake gay fireman movie, too.) Until a reporter can say they were literally perched on the corner of a hotel room bed, scribbling notes as they observed Reichen vigorously ass-fucking Bass (c'mon, he's gotta be the bottom*), Bass deserves the benefit of the doubt.
*The Defamer Correspondent For Rigid, Gay Sexual Proclivities tells us that, according to word on the street, we have our assignations reversed. So that should read "Lance mercilessly power-drilling Reichen." We apologize for the confusion.
