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Right now, in an undisclosed location that simply must be somewhere in Chelsea, Joan Rivers has assembled a legion of desperate queens asked to audition for her Bravo talk show Can We Dish?. The show is apparently just like The View — but the sassy ladies will be replaced with sassy Gays. From what we hear, the show's producers have taken to the streets to look for talent, having called upon just about every gentleman that they could think of, right down to Derek Blasberg and Chris Rovzar. Joan herself will obviously be playing the part of Barbara Walters, but we can already cast the rest:

Joy Behar ... Mario Cantone
Elizabeth Hasselbeck ... Stephen Cojocaru
Rosie O'Donnell ... Mario Lavandeira
Star Jones ... Al Reynolds