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• Suri Cruise does exist, or at least her birth certificate does. Though, strangely, it was issued 20 days after her birth (the hospital's policy is within 10 days of birth), the attendant who signed the certificate wasn't actually in the room during the birth and the person who signed as certifier is unknown, thanks to an illegible signature. How completely not suspicious. [TMZ]
• Lloyd Grove identifies the exact moment when Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell discovered their mutual hatred: Rosie's appearance on May 12, 2004 sparked an argument about the black vote and an on-air tirade from Star the next day. No apology to Rosie, either — thus paving the way for poop soup.[Lowdown]
• A private equity firm established by U2 nominee and Nobel Peace Prize nominee Bono invests $300 million in a video game called "Mercenary 2: World in Flames." The game revolves around a gun-for-hire sent to blow shit up in Venezuela — so long as it's not set in Africa, Bono's cool with that. [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett is none too pleased when his girl Scarlett Johansson is helicoptered out to the Hamptons by Wilmer Valderrama. The poor guy's just looking out for his sexual health. [Gatecrasher]
• The bitchy senior assistant in Devil Wears Prada is, unsurprisingly, based on a real-life woman who worked with Weisberger before going on to work at, no joke, Prada. So: what's her name? One of you must know. [Page Six]
• At a Good Morning America outing at Bowlmor Lanes, Diane Sawyer falls on her ass for two gutterballs. Finally, an activity in which the woman cannot reach perfection. [R&M (last item)]