If you're anything like us, you're young and edgy. You know what you want. It's got to be hip, speak your language. Like, when it comes to filling your arteries with cholesterol, you don't want some tired old man telling you where to buy your fried chicken, right? Well, the folks at Yum! Brands Inc. understand that. They're down with you, dog. That's why they've redefined the look of America's favorite defeathered carcass purveyor to the fine specimen you see above. As Louisville's Courier-Journal puts it:

The new Colonel is younger, better defined, a video-age celebrity chef. And he doesn't have to share his space with the letters KFC. He's meant to represent Kentucky Fried Chicken again. His new look is less like your grandfather and more like your cousin.

We're not sure how many people's cousins are hillbilly douchebags with Van Dyke beards, but congratulations to Yum! Brands on locking that demographic up.

KFC's new Colonel [Courier-Journal]