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In a surprise, sweeping move that will cause many thousands of Bahrani mothers to exhale loudly in relief, Michael Jackson has decided to leave his adopted home in the Persian Gulf and move to Europe. Meanwhile, a whole new set of hired "people" will try to figure out how best to retain what's left of Jackson's fortune, much of which the singer has squandered on sarcophagus shopping sprees and spray-on-chocolate kiddie-tan booths:

The announcement from Raymone K. Bain said that she has been named general manager of the new Michael Jackson Company which will replace Jackson's MJJ Productions.

The revamping, which Bain's release called "the first of a sweeping restructuring of his personal and business affairs," is an apparent attempt by Jackson to salvage his financial affairs. [...]

Jackson is currently in Ireland "on personal business" and is making plans to relocate to Europe, the press release said.

The statement makes no specific mention of what Jackson's "personal business" in Ireland might be, but we have a feeling the superstar will do his best to take in some of the local sights and entertainment while he's there. And while we have our own thoughts on why Jackson has chosen Europe as his next home (two words: German fanbase), his new Continental residency will have the added benefit of allowing any future out-of-court settlements for acts of impropriety to be paid out under one convenient, universal currency.