Press Release of the Week: 'Blender' Hitches Its Wagon to K-Fed's Semen
Because nothing helps sell a brand like associating it with Kevin Federline's cum, Blender's PR geniuses at Four Corners Communications put out this release earlier today:
BLENDER
Contact: [Flack redacted], 212-849-XXXX, xxxx@four-corners.com
Britney's hyper-virile hubby Kevin Federline has been a busy bee. With three kids and another on the way, the wannabe hip-hop star can't stop spreading his seed.
The scary notion of more mini K-Feds made July's Blender ask readers the burning question: What's another use, other than making babies, for Kevin Federline's super sperm?
Survey says:
Cheap alternative fuel source: 68%
Curing male-pattern baldness: 12%
Super food, like algae: 10%
Rebuilding rainforests: 10%
It's highly potent stuff!
We should hope this is now going in Blender's media kit: "Ten percent of our readers think K-Fed's spooge should be used as food!" That's a demographic advertisers are no doubt lusting after.