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It's David Hasselhoff Comeback Week, and now that it's here, we kind of wish things would go back to the way they were. We liked it better when the guy was a relic from our youths who carved out a second-act music career in Germany and had a last name containing all the funny-sounding letters of the alphabet. Now we have to deal with Hasselhoff the movie star (see him play the creepy boss in Click, in theaters today), Hasselhoff the reality TV star (see him be a creepy judge on America's Got Talent, which premiered Wednesday), and Hasselhoff the morning show guest (see him act like a creepy ex-husband, and generally scare the shit out of Soledad O'Brien, on CNN this morning.) Was it only just weeks ago that the Hoff brought us all so much happiness, openly weeping at the American Idol finale? Now, he even managed to ruin that for us, making us feel all bad and shit invoking a friend's brain tumor in a sanctimonious defense of his moist-eyed actions. His statement is after the jump.

"Is it wrong for a grown man to cry? Maybe if we had more emotion in the White House we wouldn't be in this mess we're in.

"What moved me was the person sitting next to me is my best friend—he has brain cancer. It was his birthday and this was his present.

"When Taylor Hicks won I said, 'Isn't that cool? A guy gets the American Dream.' Then I look over at my best friend who says, 'Isn't it great to be alive?'

"I find it kind of strange that you have to explain that in this world. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with having emotion?"