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Can we go back for just one sec to the Kevin Federline PR stunt in Times Square today? Yes, it's your rare chance to see The Impregnator out at a public event, and, yes, it's amusing — if expected — that the flacks won't let any reporters actually, you know, talk to him. But we must stop to highlight the allegedly philanthropic cause he and Richard Branson are supporting while also drumming for Virgin Mobile. They're working to save the penny. We'll repeat: To save the penny! "[T]o prove the value of the penny in face of its possible legislative elimination," the press release brags, "Branson, Federline and Eggers show their enthusiasm for the nostalgic coin by highlighting the value of the penny and being the first to sign the 'Save the Penny' petition to be presented to lawmakers in Washington D.C." Why the hell would you want to do that? Who needs more pennies? Wouldn't you rather just round everything to the nearest nickel?

Stupid K-Fed. Can't even whore himself right.

Earlier: Kevin Federline in NYC to Campaign for Negligible Amounts of Currency