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Britney Spears' Dateline interview gave us a rare, publicist-unaltered glimpse into the vast, open plains of her inner consciousness, while shedding some much needed light on what exactly it is that she sees in husband Kevin Federline ("He's very simple...He's so simple...His simplicity..."). That would have been enough for us to declare him the catch of the century, but there's also the matter of K-Fed's tireless philanthopic work. A press release in our inbox announces a live appearance by Federline in Times Square tomorrow, standing alongside the anti-Federline, self-made billionaire Sir Richard Branson. The cause? Saving the penny "in face of its possible legislative elimination," an odd choice to say the least, though we suppose there's no one more appropriate than Federline to stand up for near-worthless space-wasters.

NY Daily News JV Gossip Lloyd Grove, meanwhile, asks what ever came of Federline's plan to pair every stop on his CD promotional tour with a visit to "a charity that benefits children." A Defamer reader spotted K-Fed on his recent promotional stop in South Beach, and offers this detailed account of his charitable work:

I just saw K-fed in the flesh outside the Loews Hotel in South Beach Miami. He looked just as stupid as you would think up close. He was sitting with some desperate looking girls on the beach under some umbrellas. Doesn't he have a kid?

We'll assume the rendezvous was in fact a tactical meeting between K-Fed and his "Angel Patrol" of sexy, wish-granting helpers, plotting out the best way to blanket the city's children's wards in an attempt to lavish the sickly minors with spirit-raising toys, attention, and, for those with enough strength, bedside hip-hop dance classes.