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• Wait, so Britney Spears did her own hair and makeup for last week's Dateline video? Oh, good. We were afraid she actually paid someone to paint her face like an inverted raccoon. [Page Six]
• And, moreover, Brit won't be giving birth in Namibia. She'd rather go somewhere more original, like Angola. [AP]
• Brangelina wants to adopt another fucking kid. [People]
• Former Green Beret John Paulus apologizes to Clay Aiken for selling him out to the National Enquirer. Paulus didn't mean to profit off of their special man-love, and he hopes for forgiveness. No comment from Aiken, who's too busy giving himself another god-awful hairstyle. [Scoop]
• David Hans Schmit, the man who's been auctioning off Paris Hilton's personal diaries and photos after she failed to pay the bill for her storage locker, shows up to Macy's on Friday for Hilton's fragrance launch. She still gave him an autograph. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Blind item guessing game: drugs, infidelity, a break-up. Just another Hollywood marriage. [Gatecrasher (last item)]
• Ted Kennedy drinks just enough to baby-talk to his Portuguese water dogs without scaring any children present. [Lowdown]