Paris Hilton Will Park Wherever She Pleases

Skankafarian Paris Hilton has—shocker!—managed to find yet another creative way to annoy and offend people, this time by pulling the Ratneresque move of parking her Mercedes SLR McLaren mobile whorestation in the handicapped spot of Matt Leinart's apartment complex:
Paris Hilton has been caught parking in a disabled bay.
The 'House of Wax' star has infuriated residents in the exclusive Los Angeles apartment complex where her boyfriend, American football player Matt Leinart, lives by repeatedly leaving her car in the same spot.
Paris' spokesman, Elliot Mintz, told America's New York Post newspaper: "I find the reports surprising."
The easily surprised Mintz was later overheard marveling at the seemingly magical synchronization of traffic lights and at the ready availability of pre-sliced cheese. Hilton, on the other hand, has yet to comment, though we're sure that now that she has been called out on the matter, she's realized the not-hotness of her ways. An apology to LA's physically handicapped commuters, containing several carefully chosen, incoherent syllables and THC-induced cackles, is surely forthcoming.
