Wolverine Named Most Powerful Make-Believe Person In Hollywood
Having exhausted nearly every permutation of that perennial entertainment publication chesnut, the Hollywood Power List, Entertainment Weekly has now turned to the realm of fictional players, rendering pop culture's most recognizable make-believe characters hopelessly insecure by assigning them meaningless, numbered potency rankings. And while Wolverine and his people can sleep tight knowing his mutant talents are very much appreciated, the Spongebob Squarepants and Deuce Bigalows of this world could find themselves frantically flipping pages, wondering how and when they let it all slip through their non-existent fingers:
"Wolverine is our pick for Hollywood's top character based on a devoted, built-in audience and early excitement over his planned solo flick, which could be out as soon as 2008," writes Tim Stack. [...]
Following Wolverine, in order, are Harry Potter, Spider-Man, Shrek, Robert Langdon (the main character of "The Da Vinci Code"), Jason Bourne ("The Bourne Identity" and "The Bourne Supremacy"), James Bond, Jigsaw (the villain of the "Saw" horror films), Bart Simpson and Madea (Tyler Perry's trash-talking grandmother).
In what has already shaped up to be a not-so-great week for the boy from Krypton in the confidence-building department, it can only add salt to the virility-questioning wounds when you've been out-charted by a tricycle-riding puppet and the world's lamest drag queen. We can only hope Superman doesn't resort to typical Kryptonian cattiness to get back at his more popular rival, by bitterly telling anyone who'll listen that he saw Wolverine changing at the Hollywood superhero gym, and that he has "back hair for days."
