Kevin Federline Resents His Hunky Nanny Replacement
After Britney Spears ditched her last nanny, she opted not to go the traditional, stern-and-matronly routes in choosing her replacement. Instead, she hired a hefty slab of strawberry-blonde mancake, identified as either Perry or Henry. Good with kids, handsome and sturdy, free of cornrows, and, to our knowledge, not currently pursuing a hip-hop career, Perry/Henry seemed every bit the man Britney should have been with all along. Which, according to the highly reliable source of an anonymous "insider," hasn't gone unnoticed by displaced Britney man-unit, Kevin Federline:
[The nanny] was originally hired as a bodyguard, but lately he's been taking on the role of "man of the house," according to In Touch magazine, and has been doing chores that had been done by Federline. He was even spotted buying Spears flowers.
"[Federline] doesn't like that this guy is taking care of his baby," an "insider" told the mag. "He feels like Britney is throwing it in his face."
We can only imagine Federline's frustration at being rendered impotent in his own compound, deprived of performing his various household duties (remote control battery replacement, bong water disposal, delivering grilled cheese specifications to late-night kitchen staff) by the new pants-wearer of the house. We imagine it won't be long before K-Fed attempts to reestablish his authority in the only way he knows how—a proposed dance-off—though he may be disappointed to discover that the multi-talented he-nana is as adept at swing, jazz and hip-hop moves as he is at testing formula on his Popeye-like forearms.