Friday:
 • St. Ann's Puppet Labratory brings not one, but two nights of puppetry and glory to NYC on this long weekend. Tonight's puppets grapple with surbubia; tomorrow, FoodTV. Next week, the world. [Stann's Warehouse]
• Soul Position hits the Bowery Ballroom with RJD2. Maybe, after two years, you can finally get that damn Ghostwriter song out of your head. [Prefix]

Saturday:
 • For you plebs stuck in the city despite the long weekend, plant a tree and pretend you're not. Or, go to a leafy benefit concert. Same thing. [Upcoming]
• St. Mark's Church offers A Brief Comedy About Death. If the church-thing daunts you, keep reading: that's right, kids, free booze on God. [flavorpill]

Sunday:
 • If the barbecue/sprinker/jingoism isn't your thing, you can see a movie: Monkey Town hosts an evening of experimental Asian film, or you can catch the new Al Gore documentary. Just say you were watching baseball — bad weekend to be labeled a commie. [flavorpill, TONY]

Monday:
 • At the very least, try to get your ass up on a rooftop or something. You're looking pasty.