Whatever resident Microsoft-maligner Chris Coulter (a Man Without a Blog) does during the day, it left him time to compile a massive list of Microsoft's current messes. One suspects he's actually counted #1 through #31,760.

Sometimes I am amazed how they manage to even function, let alone exist, a case study on the failure of Capitalism.

One Fine Mess Part #31,761: So then a new delay?

Early Testers Hit Vista Beta 2 Snags
Microsoft Watch
EWeek

The first testers managing to download Windows Vista 2 bits are reporting in. They say it's not all smooth sailing, and are encountering everything from driver and app compatibility problems to red-hot laptops.

Parts #31,762-31,774 after the jump.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,762: Oh...

Ballmer Says Microsoft Pushing Back Vista—Again
Forbes

During a news conference in Tokyo, Ballmer said the company's highly anticipated update to its Windows operating system might get moved back another "few weeks," according to a report from IDG News Service.

Another delay of a few weeks wouldn't mean so much to Microsoft, but it would be yet another indication of the unwieldy nature of its software. The revamped operating system was originally expected in 2001. [2003, actually — Ed.]

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One Fine Mess Part #31,763: So then run Vista in SAFE MODE too?
Techtree

After being hit by a new Trojan horse, Microsoft has now advised its users to run its Word application in "Safe Mode".

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One Fine Mess Part #31,764: Microsoft Standard Operating Procedure
Oblivious No More [Computer World]

Over a period of several weeks, Frantz was subjected to what we now know to be a standard operating procedure on the part of Microsoft Software Asset Management "engagement managers" — key sales players on certain account teams. These managers will contact a company out of the blue with a claim that Microsoft has reason to believe the company's software isn't properly licensed. Stressing the risks associated with noncooperation, they insist on sending a consultant to do an audit, thereby greasing the skids for a lucrative Software Asset Management contract. Very bad form, you might say.

Now that the tactic has been exposed, it's Microsoft that suddenly finds itself on the defensive. But the company had reason to question the prudence of its strategy even before my column appeared.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,765: Nor will most users...
Most Monitors Won't Play New HD Video [PC World]

Vista's content protection will block or blur high-def movies on today's displays.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,766: Beta Testing Fun. Happy happy joy joy.
Longhorn Blogs
Geoff Coupe's blog

Office 2007: Why Testers Should Have Gotten Beta 2 First

Sometimes I hate Microsoft. [...] So this time around, they deployed an alternate solution to downloading Office 2007 Beta 2. It's called SmartSource [...]

SmartSource is built on .NET 1.1, which is totally stupid in and of itself, because Office 2007 relies on .NET 2.0, and Vista has it preinstalled. It's further stupid because the default .NET 1.1 runtime does not install on Vista [...]

But the lack of foresight goes one step further [...]

So, when you're registering for the Beta 2 downloads (And you're running any Vista build), don't click the "Continue" button once you get your product keys. Instead, click on the name of the app, which is also a hyperlink, and download it that way.

If Microsoft had kept us in the loop and released it to their trusted testers before general availability, we could have worked with them to make sure that this didn't happen. But at the end of the day, why Microsoft didn't test the experience themselves on Vista builds is beyond me.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,767: I am guessing a stock buyback acquisition is not on the docket? But
Web 2.0 loonies, get ready, Microsoft's got a checkbook...
Microsoft to Extend $750 Mln Acquisition Spree, Ballmer Says [Bloomberg]

Microsoft Corp., which bought 22 companies for about $750 million in the past year, is planning more, Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer said.

"Our pace of acquisitions continues to rise," Ballmer said during a press conference in Seoul. "You ought to expect us to continue to do more acquisitions, but still primarily, small-and mid-sized companies."

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One Fine Mess Part #31,768: PrePay Puters.

You just KNOW this will fail BIGTIME. And nice insult to the ENTIRE COUNTRY OF BRAZIL. Having lived in Sao Paulo, Brazil is quite modern compared to, say, 90% of Africa. It's not a tech paradise no, but it's not Death Valley either.

All Headline News

Microsoft will test prepaid computers in Brazil to see if selling a big ticket item under a flexible financing plan would be successful.

Fiebig says, "If you can make it work there, then you can make it work elsewhere." Microsoft is offering 1,000 PCs for sale in Brazil this week for $600.

Customers will pay $200 to $250, and the local branch of HSBC Holdings Plc will pay the rest. Instead of monthly payments, consumers will buy cards that activate their computers until the balance is paid off.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,769: Are they NUTS?

Still knocking on that door. Are they NUTS? Still knocking on that door. I played the Tablet game (for FOUR YEARS), until my sanity returned.

Microsoft lays plans for 'Vistagami' tablets

The new minitablets are likely to resemble the first of the ultramobile PCs, though they will run Windows Vista, rather than XP. Hopefully, they will come with a lower price tag than the first devices, such as Samsung's Q1, which starts at $1,100. The software maker generated huge publicity with a "teaser" campaign that touted the Origami idea without revealing many details of the proposal for Windows-based minitablet PCs. However, as the plans became clear, analysts said the hype had moved ahead of reality.

"We were (disappointed)," said Mika Krammer, a director in Microsoft's Windows product marketing unit. "We would have liked to have seen a lower price point."

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One Fine Mess Part #31,770: They can aggressively market it, sure...but so...
Microsoft to aggressively market search, executive says [MarketWatch]

Microsoft Corp. will aggressively market its online search and advertising services in the year ahead, Senior Vice President Yusuf Medhi said.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,771: Don't forget about this.

"Microsoft violated that agreement" — gee, there's a phrase I haven't ever heard.

Symantec-Microsoft Suit Casts Pall on Vista [Internet News]

Directions on Microsoft analyst Michael Cherry said the suit is Symantec's way of stepping up to protect its interest, not an attack against a rising rival in the security software space.

"I don't believe this has anything to do with security software. This totally relates to an agreement the two companies had over some technology," said Cherry. "Symantec's assertion is that Microsoft violated that agreement."

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One Fine Mess Part #31,772: Microsoft maintains stance against ODF
PC Advisor

Despite the recent approval of the ODF (Open Document Format) for Office Applications by the ISO (International Organisation for Standardisation), Microsoft remains stalwart in its decision to forego support of ODF in its Office productivity suite, a company executive said this week.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,773: .png me

Now about that .png support in IE. This is a death knell. Why? Two words: Licensing Options.

Microsoft plans to take on JPEG with its own Windows Media Photo format [Ars Technica]

Microsoft is planning to take on a file format that I can safely say most of us use every day: JPEG. The company hopes that its new image format, Windows Media Photo, will catch on with the masses and someday replace the JPEG image format. It is being developed by the same team that created the Windows Media Video (WMV) and Windows Media Audio (WMA) formats.

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One Fine Mess Part #31,774: So then the first was a beta test? And about that flaky service...
SPOT 2 - New SPOT Watches Available... For Some Reason [Windows IT Pro]

Well, SPOT 2.0 is on the way, and watches based on the new version will sport "more ergonomic" designs, color screens, and other features. Note to Microsoft: If these things aren't demonstrably smaller, you need to just give it up. I think the market has already absorbed as many enormous watches as it can handle.

Stick a fork in him, he's done.