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A good week for wit. Blackjack blows everyone else away with the lyrics to Marissa Mayer's beatbox:

rollin thru da Plex in the Escalade
Friday an' this bitch's gettin paid hahahaha HAhahaha
it's ruff the Wag's up in m'grill an
since I dumped Larry, serious illin' huahhahaha huahhahaha
everytime I turn around in this class
Stanford boys peepin my ass
hate doin dis shit ain't doin this shit
gonna see Eric at half past five
look muthafucka at this 45 BOOM
hahaha hahaha hahaha ha ha ha

Matto makes a Napster funny:

I made out with Shawn, but took off when he mentioned the monthly fee.

Blackjack goes for the double whammy:

Does everyone in the Valley talk at speeds that make it seem like Starbucks serves a heaping helping of crystal meth with every latte?

valleyvoyeur re-spins Sergey's rumored rejection at Club Xenii:

I think it's probably a sign of their GOOD character that they get turned down by some chicks, because this means they aren't just going up to one of the billion hot,skanky girls in LA and saying "hey, i'm the [lego/humidifier] boy that started Google, and I have 15 billion dollars.. wanna fuck?"

Hell, that's what I'd do, and I guarantee you it'd work.

Come back next week, when BlackJack goes for a hat trick. You can comment too! Prove you're witty or important at tips@valleywag.com.