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The Morning News has finally picked a winner in their Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta contest. Inspired by the multi-sourced plagiasm of Kaavya Viswanathan, TMN put it to readers to create an "original" piece plagiarized from no less than 5 works. The winner is Virginian Bonnie Furlong, who plagiarized a whopping 79 different passages for her story — and, in turn, served Kaavya her weak ass on a plate.

We won't bother with all 79 plagiarized passages (do go see for yourself), but here's a start:

The Parlourmaid's Tale, or, MS in a Dustbin
by Bonnie Furlong

Sorry for the plagiarism, but there seemed no other way.1
Dear Macmillan:2
What I want is3 a suave and worldly editor4 who can puff away dusty speculation to reveal stark, cold, obsidian and alabaster truth.5 The story between these covers is the second I have resuscitated from the bottom of a tin trunk that I received anonymously some years ago.6 These literally are manuscripts, handwritten on7 flyleaves of books, match folders, old letters8 — rather hastily written and much damaged.9 The validity of this very ancient account is almost totally dubious,10 but it's absolute dynamite.11 A careful reading, I beg of you, a careful reading in private, careful editing, and then find a typist.12

The odd array of footnotes after the jump.

1Davies, Robertson. High Spirits: A Collection of Ghost Stories. New York: Penguin Books, 1982. Page 33.

2Nowell-Smith, Simon. Letters to Macmillan. Ed. New York: Macmillan, 1967. Page 40.

3Thurber, James. The Years With Ross. Boston, Toronto: Little, Brown and Company, 1959. Page 5.

4Thurber, James. The Years With Ross. Boston, Toronto: Little, Brown and Company, 1959. Page 123.

5Phillips, Arthur. The Egyptologist. New York: Random House, 2004. Page 5.

6King, Laurie R. A Monstrous Regiment of Women. New York: Bantam Books, 1997. Page: Editor's preface.

7King, Laurie R. A Monstrous Regiment of Women. New York: Bantam Books, 1997. Page: Editor's preface.

8Rogers, Ann. The New Cookbook for Poor Poets and Others. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1979. Page 7.

9Tolkien, J.R.R. The Fellowship of the Ring. New York: Ballantine Books, 1965. Page 418.

10McKee, Richard. The Clan of the Flapdragon and Other Adventures in Etymology by B.M.W. Schrapnel, Ph.D. Tuscaloosa and London: The University of Alabama Press, 1997. Page 14.

11Nowell-Smith, Simon. Letters to Macmillan. Ed. New York: Macmillan, 1967. Page 349.

12Phillips, Arthur. The Egyptologist. New York: Random House, 2004. Page 6.

Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta Contest [TMN]
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