BlaineWatch: A Soggy Magician Slowly Regains His Strength
It's an incredible relief to discover that despite the many physical problems that David Blaine incurred in failing to set the coveted breath-holding record, the part of his brain regulating the release of vital attention-whoring neurochemicals was unaffected by his extended stay in that flooded hamster ball.
Ailments not covered in the above headline: Rashes and blisters from sunburn, oil-stripped skin, complete inability to enter a pet store without collapsing in a paroxysm of grief in the aquarium aisle.