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The Observer opens up its pink pages to retired Notre Dame English professor Tom Jemielity, a 72-year-old man who quite sincerely laments the loss of metrosexual magalog Cargo. He doesn't care about its sexual identity issues, writing, "I wear what I like and how I like it, and I don't give a shit whether someone else thinks I'm straight or gay because of it. I've got better things to occupy my mind with." And you know what? He's fucking right, even if it makes us feel particularly immature.

Above all else, during its all-too-brief existence, Cargo's shopping recommendations resonated with Jemielity. On its suggestion, he purchased a Sony Bravia HD TV, L'Or al VIVE thickening shampoo, a "close, rough" haircut, soft Banana Republic t-shirts, sunscreen, and Levi jeans. He's not, as he says, "into a youth kick"; rather, he's just an older guy who wants to know how to buy the good stuff. Without Cargo, Jemielity is lost — and the idea of him wandering aimlessly about a JC Penney, confused and disheveled, is just heartbreaking.

72-Year-Old Explains Genius of 'Cargo' [NYO]