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The procreative drama unfolding within the proscenium arches of Britney Spears' uteral walls has kept much of the world guessing with giddy anticipation: Is the celebrity baby-dropper indeed with child, or merely experiencing some extended Twinkie-bulge? Would she, as IMDB notes, be making a definitive announcement on the contents of her belly today? And to further complicate nursery matter, In Touch Weekly, the world's most trusted authority on fishy-smelling Britney Spears stories, is reporting that Spears has painted a room in her mansion pink, and has added a new, full-time babysitter to the payroll. This one, however, is for her husband:

"The last thing Britney wants to do is accompany Kevin on all his club dates," an "insider" told the mag. "That's why she hired a babysitter — a person who will keep Kevin from misbehaving and report directly back to her."

The move reportedly came after one of Spears' most trusted security guys, an ex-CIA agent named Richard, quit because of Federline's partying.

Spears has clearly learned from her previous mistakes and is taking every precaution to avoid repeating them—whether that means hiring a dedicated staff of specially trained, baby-catching nannies, or a 300-lb ex-Hell's Angel, who answers only to the name "Nanna," to trail Federline and prevent any extramarital baby makin' in the restroom of his "Playing With Fire"-branded Silver Eagle Touring Coach.