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It's merely a subject line in the Coachella message board's gossip thread, so we're not sure it qualifies as anything more substantial than total hearsay, but CityRag points us to five little words that we feel compelled to share: Tom Cruise DJ Set Rumor.

A batshit insane idea? You bet. But Kanye West, Cruise's M:i:III soundtrack buddy, was just added to the lineup, and we all know that Cruise loves nothing more than publicity stunts. So...

Nah. The guy's way too busy practicing for the big finish to his Manhattan-crossing premiere specatcular on Wednesday, in which Impossible villain Philip Seymour Hoffman will dangle both the lone print of the film and Cruise's newborn daughter from the top of the Empire State Building, making Cruise choose which one drops to its doom. Spoiler alert: Our hero's final line of dialogue is, "Sorry, Suri, but I've got a movie to open."

[Image: Cruise DJ by CityRag]