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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the night you saw Keanu Reeves show up overdressed for a pajama party with a hammered blond on his arm.

In this week's skank-friendly episode: Liv Tyler and Adam Sandler; Keanu Reeves; Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams; Lindsay Lohan and Maroon 5; Kiefer Sutherland; Brett Ratner and Michelle Trachtenberg; Paris Hilton and Paul McCartney; Donatella Versace; Kevin Federline; Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman; Elijah Wood and Rebecca DeMornay; Teri Hatcher; Matthew Perry; Sean Hayes and Billy Joel; Eric McCormack; Sarah Polley; Taylor Hicks; Chris Daughtry; Adrian Grenier; David Krumholtz ; Nicole Richie; Chrstina Aguilera; Donald Faison, Justin Kirk and Parker Posey; David Boreanaz; Serena Williams; Jennifer Love Hewitt; Jeff Goldblum; Kevin Smith; Jason Lee; Neil Patrick Harris; Danny Bonaduce; Donovan Leitch; Master P and Romeo; Bob Saget; Crispin Glover; Vanessa Marcil; Jacqueline Bisset; Eliza Dushku; David Faustino; Joey Slotnick; Corey Feldman; Federico Castelluccio; David Gest and David Johansen.

· Just had an uncomfortable silence in the elevator with Liv Tyler and Adam Sandler on the way back to work (714 West Olympic), think they're filming Empty City upstairs. He also rejected my cheetos I tried to offer him. how lame. He thought it was funny though.

· Sunday 4/16 at Nobu Malibu. Eating fish with my girl a few tables away from Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon. No kid in sight, they were happy and chatty and hungry. Fools packed away some fish! She was rocking a look similar to her Lord of The Rings get up, minus the pointy ears. She's pretty hot. Royston looked like every other Joe Malibu/Hollywood. Couldn't pick him out of a crowd. But they seemed happy, so Happy Hollywood Couple bonus points.

· Keanu Reeves at the Foundation Room annual "Pajama Party" anniversary bash Saturday night. No jammies for Keanu. Don't know why he was there, actually. The rest of us were in our bunny slippers; he was wearing a sportcoat. Was with some blonde chick who was very, very effed up. Left her out on the verandah while he went inside to party for a while. Came back, took her by the arm, dragged her down the hallway while she said "I don't know why I let you do this to me." Obviously put her out in a car or something because he returned shortly after—sans blonde—to resume partying. Would have liked to see his jammies, though -exactly what sort of pajamas would Neo wear?

· 4/12, Downtown Los Angeles, 4:45pm, Ryan Gosling was walking by City Hall after what I'm assuming to be a hard day of filming. He looked good, a little thin, but very handsome in real life. Had a bit of an arrogant air about him, like he expected to be recognized, but that was not unappealing. No sign of his other half, Rachel McAdams.

· -4/9/06: Like McAdams loves Gosling...spotted these sweethearts at Millie's Cafe in Silver Lake. They brunched with a male friend, who looked actor-ish, but I couldn't place him. Ryan Gosling was just adorkable, and Rachel McAdams was a tad dumpy, which surprised me because she seems to have adorable style otherwise. They were very cute together and left together on his motorcycle.

· on a rainy tuesday night spotted lindsay lohan and crew plus maroon 5 hanging out between the bowery and magnolia on sunset. the young ones were not allowed to drink.

· Saw Kiefer Sutherland choodlin' down Vermont with a friend near Skylight Books this past Sunday. He seemed placid and far less agitated than that afternoon's debacle at the t-shirt kiosk would suggest. We asked him for a personal story of medical emergency for an artpiece we were doing but he politely demurred. Staircase wit dictated I yell after him, "Lost Boys is the best movie ever!" - alas, attention captured by Skylight's tuff tailless cat and a sexxxy nurse instead.

· Saturday, April 1- The Ivy: My weekend (life, sigh) is now complete. After enjoying a lovely 2+ hour lunch with the fam, saw Brett Ratner and 3 friends get out of a Bentley while waiting for my car at the valet stand. He walked in, sans reservation, and was taken to a table that was meant for 3 if you squeezed. The host, unphased by his super stardom, informed him that was all that was available. Too bad Brett, back to the valet stand you go. Upon his return, I realized that one of the 2 females in his party was an almost non-existent Michelle Trachtenberg. She was leaning on his shoulder, probably because she couldn't support her own body weight. Ratner, on the other hand, was packing enough pudge for the both of them. Too bad they got turned down for a table, looks like she could've used a meal or 50.


· So over at the recording studios, who rocks up last evening but Paris Hilton. Already here is Sir Paul [ed. McCartney, we're assuming] , cheerfully running around and making merry. Paris spent 5 minutes after parking her McLaren (of the wing doors) with the door up in the air going 'ohhh notice me in my cool car.' After hiking up her butt-crack Juicy pants, she wandered over to the recording studios in her Backstreet Boy Wife-Beater tank. She paused before Sir Paul who took one look at the spectacle that is Paris, sniffed, and turned back to his conversation. Paris marched on, bowed and a bit wrinkled.

· Santa Monica 3rd street Promenade, Lucky store - saw an emaciated figure in skin tight black pants with a really bad peroxide job. The stick figure was with a minder which merited further investigation. Emaciated figure turned out to be Donatella Versace
 Santa Monica Fairmont hotel later that same evening- K-Fed, shorter then expected with a shit-eating ( I scored the golden ticket) grin on his face, carrying a can of cheap beer. About what I expected.

· Bill Paxton cruising down little santa monica in bh with small posse a couple steps behind this afternoon. He had this weird shiteating grin and he stopped to say hi to someone and said 'yeah, we got picked up!' which i guess means we'll be seeing more of his ass (literally) on hbo.

· Stood in line at Sprinkles for 20 minutes plus for a $3.25 cupcake (what? those red velvets are well worth it)...right behind the very affable, cozy, and normal-behaving Jimmy Kimmel & Sarah Silverman with a young teen girl (seemed like Kimmel's sis perhaps). Both wearing baseball caps (ASU for him - weird? - & NY for her) and sunglasses, they never complained about the wait, puffed their chests out, or demanded their cupcakes nowdammiti'macelebritydonchaknow. What a pleasure. They seemed like two people I'd like to slap a beer back with.

· 4/5 - A trip to Trader Vic's yielded a night with Elijah Wood, Rebecca DeMornay, and the cell-phone toting DeMornay wunderkinds. Wood's ever-growing posse listened with rapt attention as Mr. Frodo said something about something while wearing a little outfit with a tie that said something else about his sexuality. Remarkably, two drunken racist lumberjack-types came to our table to ask if we were celebrities. We said no (we were 3 filthy corporate lawyers and a recent Guatamalan émigré, don't ask), but a female co-worker humored them with a dead-on impression of Frodo waking, rubbing his eyes, and exclaiming "Gandalf!?" And scene.

· Saw Teri Hatcher yesterday (4-5) at Prive Salon on Beverly. She was getting her hair colored. Skeletal but kind of hot. She wasn't making out with anyone even though there were plenty of gay dudes there for the party. In a crazy town like this, it's refreshing to see a loyal beard.

· Matthew Perry at Arclight tonight. Walking up and down the ailes of the gift shop with no purpose other than to get noticed. No one bit. No one cared. He then went into the men's room. Watching him do it was just so, so sad. I actually felt sorry for him, but then I remembered how much money he made off that show.

· Had dinner last night at Nobu and was seated right next to Sean Hayes and other random Velvet Mafiosos. Not bad, but things went to the next level when his party was joined by Billy Joel, looking portly yet healthy, and his fiancee, who is smokin' hot and looks about all of 20. I'll keep the snark to a minimum out of respect for the fact that this is guy who wrote "Summer, Highland Falls". No booze was brought to the table.

· Good Friday at the Farmers Market. Eric McCormack asking for the "more interesting of the gruyeres" at Mr. Marcel's. Husband's comment, "He's taller than you'd expect." That's a new one.

· Saw Eric McCormack at the Farmer's Market on Friday, April 14th. Saw Sarah Polley running up and down Runyon Canyon at least twice on Monday, April 17th.

· Last night at Amoeba I saw Taylor Hicks shopping after the Tuesday Idol show. There was a large black handler man watching over him. He was in the back room looking through the jazz section and seemed very excited to be there. As were we all.

· Sunday the 2nd around 1pm. Chris Daughtry at the Sheraton by LAX. He was looking hot as usual in jeans and a clingy T shirt. He was holding a baby and going into Starbucks with some older ladies.

· Ogled Entourage's Adrian Grenier at last night's Ima Robot show at the House of Blues. Hot and, as far as I could tell, alone. More disturbing was standing in front of Numb3rs star David Krumholtz for most of the band's set. Not only because he stabbed Kelli Martin to death on ER, but because he appeared to be wearing a bright yellow Ronald McDonald fright wig. Inexplicable!

· Walking back from lunch along Beverly Drive today, I saw a group of guys, five or six of them, hanging around outside Color Me Mine. Paparazzi. How do I know? Because they each had cameras with enormous lenses and looked like greasy Europeans. I thought for a second about peering into the store to see which prey they were stalking, but just continued on my way. Good thing, too - I passed a woman on a cell phone as I walked on, and overheard her say, "Eh, no, it's just Nicole Richie. She's doing pottery or something.

· Saw the skinniest pair of legs I've ever seen walk into Sushi Nozawa lunch today. Of course it was Nicole Richie. She's really scary looking.

· Ex-pop princess Xtina Aguilera (what has she done for me lately?) and her husband Jordan Bratman eating a late lunch (4pmish) at the ever-popular Hugo's Restaurant. Both wearing baseball caps and looking down at their food, didn't look like there was much conversation to be had. Remarkably, Xtina's hair was straight and sort of real-looking, rather than her fried wannabe Marilyn curls trend of of late.

- Big morning at the Coffee Bean on Sunset & Fairfax. Inside, I saw "Scrubs" star Donald Faison chatting basketball with another patron, wearing sweats and making over-exaggerated facial expressions just like he does on the show. Outside, indie fave Parker Posey and Justin Kirk from "Weeds" (I fucking love that show) were sitting and chatting like old friends, her little white fluffy dog wandered around dragging its leash on the ground. She was a little jumpy but smiley and he is hotter and straighter-looking than you'd think after "Angels in America."

· just saw david boreanaz at my gym (equinox on sunset). he was at the end of his workout, looking quite fit. no vamps in sight. that is all.

· Go to the Four Season for the Easter Brunch buffet and you're going to see some celebs. It's really that simple. While piling prime rib on my plate at the carving station (trip #3) I noticed there was this badly behaved but cute little blonde kid rolling around in the middle of the room on the floor, like a dog scratching it's back on some rough carpet as dad hovered over him laughing. Dad was David Boreanaz of Buffy, Angel, and now Bones fame. Minus the teen-angsty brooding he is almost unrecognizable.

· Friday, March 30- Koi Coming in for an 8pm resi, saw Serena Williams dining with her mom among others. Shes just as big and muscular as she looks on TV. This sparked the conversation topic of how she and Wolverstien Brett Ratner could've possibly dated. On a not so notable other sighting, dined at the table next to Brittney Gastineau.

· Staggering from the mimosas and almost ready to pop, my gal and I spotted Jennifer Love Hewitt waiting for a table on our way out. She was wearing an orange dress and looked utterly stunning upon first glance, but as my eyes inspected the rest of her frame a disturbingly skeletal outline revealed itself. I hope she made four trips to the buffet like I did because she really needs to eat. Not that anything would have stayed down for long, but still; even the tease of sustenance would do her body good.

· Tue., April 11: Jeff Goldblum walking down Sunset in front of Peet's Coffee. Looking gawkier than ever with those tinted glasses he always seems to be wearing. The first thing that came to mind were those photos of him romping around on the beach a couple years ago. Funny, I can't remember what my dead grandmother looks like without aid of a photograph, but I still remember exactly what Goldblum's wang looks like.

· Whole Foods WeHo last Friday at lunchtime, saw KEVIN SMITH at the salad bar. Naturally I stared straight into his cart - literally filled to the brim with red wine and French bread. Clearly one who embraces his carbs. He looked just like how you'd expect Kevin Smith to look — smart but unkempt, wearing shorts and some sort of jersey. He has lots of hair and yet a giant bald spot in the middle. Curious. Later, he was in the same check out line as me with a very pretty, brunette girl in pigtails. I believe the woman may have been his wife, as they seemed very natural together. I checked out and left before I could get a good ending to this sighting.

· Saw a charmingly scruffy Jason Lee on the LACMA courtyard on Sunday afternoon around 5 p.m., holding a baby of indeterminate sex. He (Lee, not the baby) was getting harassed by a table full of old men who couldn't remember the name of "Chasing Amy" until Lee reminded them. He looked somewhat exasperated to have been relegated to "that guy from that thing" status by a bunch of octogenarians.

· Neil Patrick Harris at the Westwood Equinox today (4/15). He's actually a regular there, but today was a classic as he was working out under the TV that happened to be showing "80's Child Stars" on E! and all of a sudden, there was Doogie Howser on screen. It was very meta.

· Just saw Danny Bonaduce holding his son Dante and walking into a liquor store on Hillhurst. There are so many things I could say about that scenario, but they're all too easy. What a trainwreck.

· Mon., April 10: A scraggly-looking Donovan Leitch grabbing a cup of coffee at Peet's. I had no idea who he was, but a drooly female co-worker spotted him instantly. She tried to explain who he was to me, but I kept saying "who?" while he was waiting for his fancy whipped coffee drink about three people away from me. Finally she said "the son of Donovan" - that hardly helped. A quick look on IMDB at the desk showed me that he was in Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo - much more impressive than his gig on Grey's Anatomy.

· Thursday afternoon in the Sherman Oaks Costco parking lot, Master P sat in the front seat of his SUV while some kind of custody trade-off was taking place around him. A woman in pink stretch pants and a lot of jewelry unloaded children from the back of her black SUV into the back of his huge silver one. There was no eye contact or conversation between the woman and the Master (I can't think what he might be the Master of). He had a phone to his head, but never seemed to say anything into it. He's surprisingly creepy in person. He drove away with like 7 kids in the car. Romeo was in the front passenger seat.

· Bob Saget having dinner at Chaya Venice (4/5) with his adorable daughter. I didn't catch any obscenities or jokes about coke, so it seemed like just a nice normal father-daughter outing.

· 4/6 - Spotted Crispin Glover and a petite, improbably blonde companion at the Magic Castle (where else?). The nattily attired Mr. McFly looked healthy and happy, and showed no inclination to engage anyone in swordplay, head-kicking, or strung-out, rambling interviews. Sigh. Much of the crowd was already too drunk to recognize their own dates, let alone him.

· 4/11/06: Vanessa Marcil from NBC's "Las Vegas" with her loverman at Madame Matisse on Sunset. She kind of doesn't matter, but I thought it might be important to point out that her tiny skull is bearing the load of the biggest, saddest, collagen-injected lips I have ever seen in real life. They look like sausages. Also, she was crying instead of eating, which is kind of not funny, but perhaps explains why all of her ribs were visible through her shirt. I just saw on the NBC website that Lara Flynn Boyle is now on "Las Vegas" as well, perhaps she's become Marcil's aesthetic mentor? Yikes!!

· I know this is probably a little too seventies for Defamer, but I have to say: walked into Jacqueline Bisset at a screening at the City of Lights/City of Angels Festival at the DGA, and good fucking God! This woman must be sixty and would out-scorch all the 25-year-olds in the room. Still insanely, horrifyingly hot beyond all description. I can't imagine what she must've been like at 25...if you saw her, you'd turn into a pillar of salt.

· Friday night @ Mood, my girls & I were waiting in line (we were next to go in), when Eliza Dushku and her blonde friend pulled up in a cab. Eliza hugged the bouncer, talked to him for a bit, gave him some kind of business card and invited him to something... then they showed their IDs to another bouncer to get inside. Eliza was dressed really cute (she's so tiny!!) with her Chloe Paddington bag, but her hair looked a little mullet-y... my friend said it was perhaps due to the rainy night & the way she had it clipped back. We saw her again inside, but she seemed to leave pretty quickly after she got there... like she was looking for someone who wasn't there.

· saturday night (4/9/06) david faustino aka bud bundy at Trocadero in WeHo. He is VERY short. he was dancing with a couple www.averagegirls.com type girls (not very attractive, but not fugly). the girls had the whole "hip hop video/booty clap" type dancing thing going on.

friday night 4/8/06 Joey Slotnick (the dude from nip/tuck who traded his lamborghini for kimber...i think his name was merrill) at cat & fiddle hanging out at the bar by himself. seemed like a pretty nice guy.

· I saw Corey Feldman at the "low cost" (87 grade at $2.99 a gallon!) gas station in Studio City on Coldwater Canyon. My man is tiny, wearing light jeans, a tie dye T, a flannel, the classic black Ray Bans and a lumberjack style cap that covered his bottle-black hair. He hit my Amazonian ass at boob height and kept the gaze locked there as he yakked into a cell phone. I wanted to ask him how his music career was going (remember him on Stern doing that "Former Child Actor" song?!) but it took longer to fill his Mercedes than it did my Escort.

· Saturday at the bagel place on Larchmont: FURIO from "The Sopranos" (I had to look him up on IMDB: Federico Castelluccio). I totally didn't recognize him but my boyfriend pegged him right away, ordering bagels in line in front of us. He met up with some other (suspiciously Italian looking...?) actor, they were discussing roles, etc. Ah, Hollywood. Whacked on The Sopranos, lookin' for a job...

· Saturday night, April 8, I was in Studio City at a teeny-tiny bar called the Fox & Hounds Pub. I was there to see the Cowsills, that band from the '60s that the Partridge Family was based on (don't laugh—they were amazing). Anyway, for some reason '70s pop singer Freda Payne was in the audience. She got up to sing "Band of Gold" with the Cowsills, but I could barely see her because this MASSIVE guy was blocking my view. He wasn't even watching the band—he just kept looking from side-to-side, as if he was guarding someone. Then I saw that he WAS guarding someone—David Gest! I guess the ex-Mr. Minnelli needs a bodyguard in case he runs into Liza. I was so close to him, I could drink in all his plastic surgery. His left cheek looks like someone took a rusty razor blade and just dug in. I couldn't imagine what David Gest was doing in the Valley at a bar the size of my living room. Well, when Freda Payne was done singing, he latched onto her, whispering all giggly in her ear for the rest of the set. Then they left together. Is he now trying to lure poor Freda into holy matrimony?

· David Johansen of the New York Dolls at Equinox in West Hollywood. I think he was going for a spa treatment.