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Blogger-harrasser Chris Coulter quotes Microsoft blogger Robert Scoble's new comment policy: "I am now approving every comment here. And I will delete any that don't add value to either my life or the lives of my readers."

So here, from Chris, is:

How to add value to the life of Robert Scoble
 1. Sign up for Microsoft Software Assurance, pay triple, for yet-unreleased software.
2. Be seen with a Tablet PC; random Tablet PC photo-ops (fortunately like him, you need not actually use the hopelessly-infernal device, just make sure you are photographed with it).
3. Actually pay attention when Buzz Bruggeman goes on one of his deathly-annoying eternally-endless sales pitches.
4. Say you found an Xbox 360 actually on the shelf of some store. Miracles do happen.
5. Key repeatable phrase: "Security is everyone's problem."
6. Web 2.0 launch party invites, speaking invites, junkets, junkets. Under-the-table gifts. More junkets. Tech Conference invites. Private geek party invites.

Sixteen more (What does Chris do all day?) after the jump.

Inspired by: Halfway through my blog vacation (change in comment policy) [Robert Scoble]

7. Make no disparaging remarks about Vista, always praising Microsoft for waiting to "get it right".
8. Worship Dave Winer and develop a Stockholm Syndrome kick-in mode. Graven images and gift offerings acceptable. Key talking-point: "Dave is the true victim here".
9. Always be happy. Hear no evil, see no evil, esp. in those SLAs. Prune out the noise and only send the signal. Label all those who disagree as "trolls" or "a small, worthless minority".
10. Get Nick Carr deported.
11. Write random loud-rambling wholly-unprofessional temper-tantrum blog posts against certain journalists that have unfairly besmirched the good and honorable name of Microsoft.
12. Channel 9 foam-toy vacation photo ops. The fun never ends.
13. Buy a SPOT watch. Don't complain when the service drops out, no whiners or unhappy people need apply.
14. Buy a Ultra Mobile PC, start a fan site, endlessly talk it up. Become so isolated geeky and refuse to talk about anything else, so that you get labeled an "Evangelist".
15. Lose yourself in Second Life, call it the new OS, the dawn of a new economic age.
16. Make a Werner Vogels voodoo doll and endlessly mumble: "Amazon just doesn't get blogging".
17. Reswitch and do something dramatic, like toss your new Mac off a ten-story building, old-school David Letterman style.
18. Waste away your life commenting on the value that the Channel 9 shaky-cam grainy low-res videos provide, and make sporadic random comments about how Microsoft is "finally getting it" now, all thanks to the efforts of Robert Scoble. Too much ego is never enough.
19. Actually buy a godforsaken Microsoft Smartphone (and don't complain about the lock-ups). If you choose a Pocket PC Phone, stay quiet about the battery life and all the endless Windows Mobile 5.0 problems.
20. Banish the "business case" phrase from your lexicon.
21. Give him Microsoft money to buy up blogging companies, make him CFO.
22. Display and wear PDC 2003 swag.