This image was lost some time after publication.

Showbiz TV magazine Extra—the one where host Mark McGrath tries his hardest to muster some Mary Hart-style enthusiasm reading banal copy, while he's actually thinking, "God, I miss all the rock star pussy"—was paid a visit by Eva Longoria. She stopped by to set the record straight on some eyebrow-raising jaguarisms attributed to her in a recent Allure interview:

According to Eva, her new interview in Allure magazine has been twisted into something it's not. "It's just another publisher wanting to sell their magazines," she said.

Especially upsetting to Eva is this quote about her squeeze, Tony: "He's very sweet. I'm the experienced one."

Longoria said the press misconstrued her interview as, "I'm the teacher of sex. Because I'm older, he's younger. I'm like, People, c'mon! Of course he's a good lover!'"

Is it true the 23-year-old basketball star has taught her a few things? "He's French!" Eva quipped. "Believe me, when the lights are out, I am the student."

Permit us a moment to erase the nauseating image conjured by interview #1 (Longoria approaching "student" Parker seated at the foot of the bed, handing him back a test graded F, and insisting he "see her after class"), and replace it with the revised nauseating image (suffice it to say, it involves the creative use of a beret and a baguette in pitch darkness). We look forward to forthcoming clarification #3, an US Weekly exclusive: "Eva Longoria's Bedroom Prowess No Less Than, Greater Than That of Boyfriend Tony Parker."