This image was lost some time after publication.

We're sure that Jon Stewart will have no problem shrugging off the reviews calling his hosting of the Oscars "too safe" or claiming that Hollywood doesn't "get" him, but no man can feel the sting of the Shaggy DA's rebuke and not be plunged into existential crisis:

"I kind of missed Billy Crystal with all the fanfare, dancing and big numbers," [Tim] Allen told us. "Jon Stewart did a capable job, but I didn't feel like he was embracing the movie business. Jon doesn't have the basic understanding of show business that Johnny Carson had. Jon's fresh and irreverent, but I don't think it worked."

When Santa Claus tells you you're no Johnny Carson, the psychic scars don't ever fully heal.