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Yesterday, Scarlett Johansson finally offered her thoughts on The Grope, the now-infamous moment when E! man-on-the-carpet Isaac Mizrahi hand-tested the jiggle of Johansson's spectacularly swaddled rack. Today, USA Today says that a mystified Mizrahi has shrugged off the controversy and is ready to mix it up for Oscar:

"I honestly, honestly, honestly do not know why it caused such a controversy," Mizrahi says. "Most of the people I spoke to were surprised by the controversy, but they weren't surprised by how I handled (the red carpet), because that's who I am."


He explains his thinking: "Before I actually did the red carpet, I was watching the pre-pre-pre-show, and I kept thinking, 'How can you make this slightly more interesting, slightly more watchable?' And so I just asked the questions that interested me."

This is the Year of the Gay Cowboy, so maybe Mizrahi would be better off ignoring the ladies and focusing his innocently outrageous attention on the guys. We bet the post-carpet buzz would get pretty deafening if he can convince Ryan Seacrest to distract Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal long enough to sneak up between the onscreen lovers, quickly pants them, then sear their exposed buttocks with a branding iron. Such a daring stunt would inarguably enhance the watchability of the pre-pre-pre show, giving Mizrahi an unimpeachable defense.