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• Rapper Lil' Kim, who's been serving time since September for perjury, is finding prison to be more tough than she expected: Her gargantuan breast implants are leaking. That's some definite street cred right there. [R&M]
• Times reporter Warren St. John sells the movie rights to his articles uncovering the J.T. Leroy hoax for Harvey Weinstein. Expect New York mag, which explored the hoax before St. John made the ultimate declaration, to spontaneously combust with anger. [Page Six]
• Bonnie Fuller has invited Courtney Cox to shadow the AMI beast around the office for a day; Cox is preparing for her upcoming sitcom roll as a tabloid queen who magically aborts celebrities' babies. [Lowdown (last item)]
• Divorce is hard enough; divorce when you have a thing for trannies is even worse. [Page Six]
• If cracky singer Whitney Houston is indeed pregnant, Child Protective Services should probably start preparing now. [Scoop]