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It's a battle for the ages: Future Galactic Dictator Les Moonves of CBS Corp. is suing the King of All Media, Howard Stern, claiming that Stern turned his FCC-plagued terrestrial radio show into an extended infomercial for his new Sirius satellite free-for-all in an attempt to reach a stock option incentive clause in his Sirius contract. According to the NY Times, Stern has returned fire by calling the suit a "personal vendetta" intended to be a smokescreen for CBS Radio losses. But the question seems obvious: If Moonves was so worried about Stern's on-air talk about his move, why not use the very same dump button that so frequently deprived the public of porn stars describing their first double-penetration scenes to shut him up? Reports the Times:

As for the idea that he promoted Sirius on his show to the detriment of CBS, Mr. Stern said he had cleared with the top CBS radio executive, Joel Hollander, his intentions to talk on the air about moving to satellite radio while never specifically mentioning the name Sirius. He added that his show was equipped with delay buttons that could cut off his commentary at any time and CBS did not chose to exercise that option when he discussed his future. Mr. Stern did concede that CBS suspended him for one day because of concerns of how he was promoting the shift to Sirius.


Mr. Stern said he met with Mr. Moonves recently to ask why the suit was being contemplated and that Mr. Moonves told him, "I'm the one who kept you on the air and I knew I could sue you afterwards."

Quite frankly, if Stern's story is true, we're incredibly disappointed in Moonves—whom we still believe will one day hold the deeds to all of our souls— for making such a rookie, evil mastermind mistake. He's been in the business of destroying his rivals long enough to know not to reveal his nefarious plans until after the saw blade has messily bifurcated his bound, helpless foe.