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The following movies will have no bearing on next year's Oscar race (except one of the films starring Paul Walker, a dark horse for his fine work supporting some huskies in Eight Below):

1. Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion $30.25 million
In the past month, movies centering around popular black funnymen in muumuus and fat suits have grossed about $95 million at the box office. Why do we get the feeling that as we sit here sipping our coffee, half of CAA is gathered in a conference room soberly discussing how to convince Will Smith to do Mrs. Doubtfire II, then drawing straws to break the news to Robin Williams?

2. Paul Walker—$18.8 (Eight Below $15.7 million and Running Scared—$3.1 million
Paul Walker's reign as The Biggest Star in the World may have been short-lived, but with his combined grosses this weekend, he's probably accumulated enough B-list points to be offered the lead in a straight-to-video continuation of the xXx franchise.

3. The Pink Panther $11.3 million
Forgetting that Pink Panther already debuted a couple of weeks ago and finished first, Sony head Amy Pascal confused her staff by beginning this morning by ordering the movie's release delayed until late summer 2007 pending further editing "tweaks."

We don't have the strength to discuss the following top five finishers:
4. Date Movie $9.2 million
5. Curious George $7 million