• Performer-about-town and Gawker To-Do staple Jonathan Ames gives a reading at the Barnes & Noble on 21st and 6th. Catch a glimpse of his testicle (or is it his liver?) tonight at 7. [Jonathan Ames]
• Jonathan No. 2, this time of the Safran Foer variety, gives a reading at the BAMcafe. To help you distinguish, fewer testicles and more cellists will be involved in this dinner affair. OK, there's only one cellist — but we still maintain the fewer testicles claim. [Upcoming]
• Metlife, opening tonight at the Morgan Lehman Gallery, has nothing to do with insurance. The show features 12 metropolitan artists working under "the loose theme of studio culture." Translation: easels, narcissism, and a whole lot of substance abuse. [flavorpill]