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We almost feel sorry for erstwhile Most Powerful Man in Hollywood Michael Ovitz, who's learning the hard way that making one teensy-weensy paranoid comment to a national publication claiming that a secret society of powerful homosexuals is trying to destroy your career can result in a lifetime of watching your back. Says Page Six:

AT least Mike Ovitz still has a sense of humor. The former superagent turned Hollywood pariah, who's now caught up in the Anthony Pellicano affair, dined with his wife, Judy, on Valentine's Day at West Village foodie mecca Blue Hill. Apparently, Ovitz - who famously blamed the "gay mafia" for his many travails in a scandalicious 2002 Vanity Fair profile - didn't realize he was in "enemy" territory: "On either side of the Ovitz table there were two gay male couples in their late 30s," says our spy. "One was an accomplished screenwriter . . . as the guy's returning from the bathroom, he sashays past the Ovitz table and sticks out his two index fingers like he's pointing two guns at Mike and says, 'Bang! Bang! You're surrounded!' " Continues our tipster: "There was a second or two of uncomfortable silence" before Ovitz let out a huge belly laugh. "Everyone around his table knew exactly what the guy was referring to, and started laughing along with him. It was surreal." To top it all off, the newly chastened power player left a 45 percent tip. "I hope the gay mob lets him live cause he's one hell of a tipper," our spy squealed.

We don't know what evokes more pity in us: the thought that every time Ovitz dines out, he has to worry that his waiter is a member of the gay mob waiting to pistol-whip him with finger guns, or the suspicion that he's now planting items in Page Six about what a great tipper he is to avoid further uncomfortable confrontations like this one.