Monday Morning Box Office: Panther Rebirth
Instead of the usual, brief meditation on the oppressive drudgery of the coming work week, how about some positivity this morning? Find your nearest coworker, and while locked in a big bear hug, assure each other that this week can't possibly be as bad as the last.
1. The Pink Panther–$21.7 million
Back in June, Sony announced that it was moving The Pink Panther's release date from August 5th to February 10th because "With the recent acquisition of MGM, we wanted to give our marketing department the time and opportunity to launch this very important franchise," perhaps not wanting to face the terrifying possibility of being shown up by a Johnny Knoxville vehicle. With all of that extra time, the marketing department was able to launch their very important franchise strongly enough to eke out a victory against a Ryan Merriman vehicle. (Don't feel bad about clicking the link, we'd never heard of him either.) Way to go, team!
2. Final Destination 3–$20.1 million
We would've referred to Final Destination 3 as "a Mary Elizabeth Winstead vehicle," but the name Ryan Merriman dances off the tongue so much more elegantly. Roll the r's when you say it, and you'll see there's no way the kid's not gonna be a star.
3. Curious George–$15.3 million
Before undertaking a big-screen version of Curious George, Imagine Entertainment superproducer Brian Grazer had his cultural attache set up a meeting with a monkey so that he could better understand the simian mind. After an intense, four-hour downloading session, Grazer determined that his guest's periodic flinging of feces and vigorous masturbating with the producer's A Beautiful Mind Oscar was "Chimpanzese" for "You're gonna knock this motherfucker out of the park, Brian!" Inspired by this endorsement, Grazer threw himself into the project with his legendary passion. The savvy monkey, however, turned down a cushy consulting gig with Imagine, content to return to his day job as a cosmetics tester for Revlon.
4. Firewall–$13.8 million
Warner Bros.' expectations for Firewall were so low that they earmarked the film's opening weekend solely for the recovery of Harrison Ford's Ben Gay and whiskey budget. We'd love to make the joke that they nearly met their goal, but even we have a hard time imagining where he'd store about $14 million in booze and tubes of heat rub.
5. When a Stranger Calls–$10 million
IMDb Fun Fact: Stranger star Camille Belle attended Marlborough School, "an elite all girls school in Los Angeles." If any former classmates just knew that she would one day become semifamous for screaming her head off in a horror remake, drop us a line.